Redemptive Ramblings

Imagine being locked up in a cold, dark cell. Bricks surround you, except for a locked iron door. Day after day, you sit there, alone in the darkness. Perhaps you’re even wounded in there, bleeding inside your prison, with no medical supplies. Now imagine that you not only hold the key to the door, but you are the one who constructed the prison. Brick by brick, you built yourself into the walls that now hold you. People come to the door, friends and family, and talk about your plight. 

“You’re right to stay in there!” some of them say. “ I would never leave either.”

Others offer a different perspective. “Just come out,” they plead. “It isn’t worth staying in there forever.”

Jesus stands just outside the door as well. “It is finished,” He says. “Come out. I have healing for your wounds.”

But you stubbornly refuse to budge, creating walls and space between you and those you love, space between you and your Savior. 

You’ve probably guessed that the prison in this story is unforgiveness. The Bible has a great deal to say about forgiveness, both received and given. 

Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! Matthew 18:21-22 NLT

Forgiveness, Jesus says, isn’t optional. Forgiving the same person roughly 500 times sounds irrational, but it’s the standard Jesus set for Peter. Realistically, if you’re counting to 500, you’re missing the point.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 NIV

Forgiveness, Paul says, isn’t optional. Five, five hundred, five thousand offenses, God instructs us to forgive them all. If this sounds to you like a formula for becoming a doormat, you may need a little bit of clarity on what forgiveness is and what it isn’t.

Forgiveness is working through your hurt with Jesus; it isn’t explaining your hurt away. Forgiveness is releasing the offense to God to help resolve your anger instead of pretending your anger doesn’t exist. It’s not excusing a wrong, but leaving justice in the hands of God. Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation; it doesn’t require an apology or explanation. It isn’t a feeling. It’s a grace-empowered choice we make. 

Unforgiveness leads us into bitterness and resentment. It can bring up our own guilt, shame, and tendency to isolate ourselves. It’s also sneaky. We can think we’ve forgiven someone, only to be surprised by a sudden burst of anger or hurt that informs us we aren’t quite as done with it as we thought we were.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The frame around God’s command to forgive is the forgiveness that has been given to us. Our inability to forgive can be an indicator that we have not yet fully accepted the forgiveness and grace that God has made available to us. When we struggle with our own guilt or shame, it’s much easier to take a posture of unforgiveness towards others. Understanding the radical forgiveness that God gives encourages my heart to give that forgiveness to others.

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 NLT

The only prerequisite for our forgiveness is repentance. But often we continue to live in self-doubt or self-condemnation. We are really doubting the goodness of God when we do this! It’s time to stop and believe the Word of God about the forgiveness He has already given us. Once we apply the forgiveness of God to our own mistakes, the next step is to give the forgiveness we’ve been given to others who have hurt us.

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” CS Lewis

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT (emphasis mine)

You must forgive others. There is no caveat given here for situations that have been horrific, traumatizing, or purposeful. No exception for completely unrepentant people. My forgiveness for the people who have hurt me most must rest, not in their right to be forgiven or my ability to pay them back, but in God’s ability to heal, restore, and redeem the brokenness they brought into my life.

Yeah, you might be saying, but you don’t know what happened to me! You’re right, I don’t. But I know what happened to me. And I know that God, who calls me to forgive, has the same call for you. The most beautiful thing has happened to me since I began the journey of forgiveness. I have seen God heal my emotional wounds. 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV

The work God does in us, He can only do if we forgive. Choosing forgiveness is how we open the prison to let Jesus in so that He can cleanse and heal the wounds inflicted on us. Only through forgiveness will we ever see the redemption of our suffering.

If you realize that you have been walking in unforgiveness, either toward yourself or others, today is the day to open the door and step out of the prison you’ve constructed. Not because the wrong was okay or the hurt wasn’t real, but because God is bigger than all of it. His command to forgive is only and always for our good, and His ability to enact justice and redemption is beyond anything that we can imagine. Begin with a prayer of gratitude for the forgiveness that has been offered to you, then move into a commitment to forgive, like Jesus, the inexcusable things that have been done in your life, and continue to live in freedom and healing from the past wrongs done to and by you.

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