Redemptive Ramblings

Family is a strong emotional word. That’s true whether the emotions you experience when you hear it are positive or negative. That’s because we all spent our formative years in one, and either it was great or it was bad. Shakespeare’s line, “He is not worthy of the honeycomb who shuns the hive because the bees have stings,” could surely apply to living in family. Sometimes the sweetness outnumbers the stings, and sometimes…well, let’s just say stings can be plentiful in family life.

Either way, family was God’s idea, not only in our physical households but also in the house of God. God repeatedly uses family imagery to describe our relationship not only with Him, but also with each other.

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household. Ephesians 2:19 NIV

Stings can be plentiful in church life, too. And if we aren’t careful, we can shun the sweetness of the body of Christ and fall into the prison of isolation because we’ve experienced too many stings from our spiritual family. But God designed us to live in the freedom of community with Him and each other.

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. Romans 8:14 NIV

If we are going to live in community in the family of God, we need a sense of calling. We’re called to build His kingdom, do His will, fulfill the great commission. And we’re called to do it together.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV

We are called to walk together, to bear with each other, and to maintain unity. To accomplish this, we not only need to remember we’re called to it, but we also need to be ready to be patient. This is true in our physical families and in the family of Christ. 

And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 NIV

Everywhere we try to live in community with others, whether it’s in our homes or our churches, we will find people who need our patience. The truth is that we will often need theirs too. Family thrives when those in the community are patient. Patience, according to Ephesians 4, comes with humility. Proud people can rarely have patience with others, but humble people are able to find a space in their hearts for patience, no matter what the other person needs from them. 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Loving each other will enable us to find grace and compassion for each other. Determinedly putting ourselves first will wreck the family that God puts us into. How many times have you heard of a family split apart by the selfishness of someone in it? In whatever way that selfishness manifests, it destroys the love members have for each other. 

The first known church split in history, the Great Schism, occurred in 1054. A few of the hotly disputed topics that brought about this break in the family of Christ were whether or not unleavened bread should be used in communion, unmarried clergy, and the wording of the Nicene Creed. Cerulius, leader of the church of Constantinople, wrote the Pope a strongly worded letter. Pope Leo sent back a letter saying that any churches that didn’t listen to him were “synagogues of Satan.” It escalated from there, with excommunications on both sides and the formation of Eastern Orthodox and Catholic as the two distinct churches, with each believing the other to be heretics. 

Each of these church leaders, and likely many of those surrounding them, was stuck in pride and selfishness. The love they should have had for each other as brothers in Christ was replaced by a desire to be vindicated, to be right, to be important. It sounds silly, but it happens on a smaller scale in every church that splits, in every couple that divorces, in every family that feuds over a loved one’s grave. 

Each of those occurrences has this in common: people end up in a prison of resentment and isolation. God’s call to humility, patience, and love frees us from this quagmire. 

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14 ESV

Being a part of the family of Christ asks of us that we put away our petty perspectives and positions, that we choose not to be offended, that we look out for the good of others instead of our own. 

A beautiful story that illustrates this is the story of the 2000 Olympics trials for Taekwondo. Kay Poe was ranked first in the world and was widely expected not just to make the team, but also to win the gold in Sydney. She dislocated her knee, one fight before the final one that would secure her spot on the team. Her final trials match was supposed to be against her lifelong friend, Ester Kim. Friends since elementary school, they had come up through the ranks of their sport together, but Kay was undeniably the better athlete. When the matchup was announced, Ester had no hesitation. She forfeited the match, although she would have easily won against her injured friend. She would have secured her spot on the Olympic team. But for her, it was an easy decision. Kay was more likely to come home with the gold. Kay was the right person for the team. Not only that, Kay was her best friend. Her loyalty, both to her friend and the Olympic team, was more important to her than securing her own place.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 ESV

How would the church look different if we each used this verse as our reference? Would it look more like a family? If each of us committed to living this way, the sweetness of the family of Christ would surely outweigh the stings! 

Ask God today for direction on how you can walk in love, humility, compassion, and gentleness in your community. And if you’ve walked away from community into a place of isolation as a result of past hurts, commit to forgiveness today. Find the family God has for you and watch how He moves.